Healing
by The Original Horcrux
Summary: "All she sees when she turns out the lights is shadows on her wall; shadows that warp themselves into images of her friends and her family who had been lost to the war. It is as if they keep coming back to haunt her, to remind her of what a terrible job she did of protecting them." .:For Kelly:.


_For __**Hedwig Black**__ (Kelly)_

* * *

Healing

_(PART ONE: Nothing Left to Say)_

She sighs exasperatedly as she rolls over in bed in a vain attempt to make herself more comfortable for what feels like the hundredth time in the last two hours. Not that this is abnormal of course; she hasn't been able to sleep properly, or at all for six months, two days and four minutes. All she sees when she turns out the lights is shadows on her wall; shadows that warp themselves into images of her friends and her family who had been lost to the war. It is as if they keep coming back to haunt her, to remind her of what a terrible job she did of protecting them. Shutting her eyes did nothing, for that was when the images in full colour started to play back. She doesn't know how long she had been awake, two days? Three? She is so tired but not able to sleep out of fear of what awaits her. She doesn't want to be constantly reminded of her failure, she doesn't want to be awake she wants to sleep and be rid of the memories. Of course, a memory charm or a forgetfulness potion might erase them but she doesn't want them gone for good, because they are the only thing that keep her anchored to the ground, the only thing that keep her knowing that she is alive.

The dawn breaks and she still hasn't slept. As the shadows recede off of her walls she gradually drags herself out of bed, glancing at the clock and calculating that it was now six months, two days and six hours since the war had ended. Counting helps, but only minimally. She tries to see it as a metaphor for stepping further and further away from the terrible experiences that she had had then, taking steps further and further away from the nightmares.

The rain starts to fall. Slowly at first and then it starts to pound harder and faster, making an unbelievably loud racket on the tin roof. She fumbles her way blindly down the stairs until she reaches the door way where she pulls on her coat and quickly steps out into the rain.

Within seconds she is drenched and she doesn't mind one bit. She likes the feel of the rain on her skin and the way it manages to soak through all of her layers of clothing. Granted, there were only her coat and pyjamas now, which meant that she was more exposed to the pounding water, but she doesn't mind. It soothes her, numbs her, giving her time to think about her family when the world is so noisy and the rain can mingle in with the tears on her face.

She walks in the rain for a good ten minutes until she reaches the lookout on the top of the cliff. She considers going down onto the sandy stretch to the left of her and going for a short swim, but she thinks better of it. It's best to stay out of the water in a storm. She stands still for a few moments, letting the rain pour down onto her before she collapses against the railing. She runs her hands through her tangled brown hair and pulls at it from the roots as she lets out a particularly loud sob. There is nobody around, so nobody can see her or hear her, but Katie hides her face anyway as more and more tears gush down it, mingling with the rain that falls into her eyes. She wishes that she could just see all of them one more time. Mum, dad, Jake, Liam, Leanne, Alicia and even baby Joanna; she would never see them again, ever. She cries for her parents, her brothers, her friends and her baby niece who never even got to live longer than six months before the Death Eaters had invaded her brothers' home and killed the whole family. Katie had been on the brink then, after her father's kidnap and murder but as soon as the news reached her ears that Jake, Sara and Joanna were dead, she had collapsed into a deep and crippling depression. She owes her life to both Leanne and Alicia, both of whom were killed in the same battle that she had survived. She shouldn't have survived. She should be with them, right now, all of the people who love and care for her are now gone. What was the point in living any longer?

She looks behind herself carefully and sees the sheer drop from the lookout to the rocks below. All that is standing in her way is a metal fence that was the height of her hips. All she would have to do is climb over and fall to join her family. It was the easiest way out.

Her legs shaking, she stands up slowly, hot tears still falling down her face and looks down at the waves crashing over the rocks below and sending a salty sea spray up at her to mingle with the rain and tears on her face. There is a ledge on the other side of the fence, a ledge just big enough for someone to stand on. It is, in a way, the perfect spot. She raises one leg and puts it over the fence and slowly but steadily slides the other one after it. She is literally hanging on by her toes. One more step, one slight wobble and it will be over, everything will be gone, the guilt and the shadows on her wall that refuse to sleep at all. She will be at peace with her family. She will finally be happy.

"I love you," she whispers softly to the empty space around her, the words directed at her parents, her brothers and her friends, all whom she would be seeing in a matter of minutes. There was nothing left to say now. She closes her eyes and relaxes her muscles, ready to let go of the rail and jump willingly into the arms of the black abyss that waits for her in the darkness every night. She lets go of the railing and lets herself fall forwards, completely content and relaxed.

"Whoa, Jesus Christ, hey!" she hears a male voice and then feels herself being pulled back up, her eyes fly open and see the ground rushing away from her instead of towards her and she realises that someone has seen, that she had been prevented from falling off the cliff not by a muggle, but by a witch or wizard. She feels strong arms gently wrap themselves around her and pull her back over the railing. The owner of the arms sits down and lets her collapse into his lap as her legs give way. She had been so close.

She feels the owner of the voice brush her hair from her face and adjust his hold on her so that she can sit upright. She tries to help him as much as she can but she finds that she is incapable of doing anything.

"Don't ever do that to anyone, okay?" the man says as he props her against the fence. She looks at him again and puts a name to the face. She could never forget him; Charlie Weasley, the famous Gryffindor seeker whom she, along with all the other female first years had had a major crush on.

She can't speak, she can't breathe, she can't articulate what she's feeling so she just leans into his chest and starts to sob violently. She feels Charlie's arms wrap around her, comforting her. He doesn't say anything, he just sits there in the pouring rain with her while she cries. She cries for everyone she's lost but this time, she mostly cries because she is scared. Scared now that she realises what she had been about to do, scared because she realises that if Charlie hadn't caught her, she would've been taken out of the world for good.

After a while, her tears slowly subside into hiccoughs and still Charlie doesn't attempt to question her, he doesn't attempt to tell her that everything is fine, he doesn't get angry. He just sits there, understanding her.

She looks up at him for a third time, "Y-you've done this before, haven't you?" she says, speaking for the first time in months. Charlie nods.

"I'm sorry," she says, thinking that she has brought back bad memories of his time of darkness.

"Why?" he asks, speaking for the first time since he had pulled her in.

"Because I've probably brought back bad memories," she says.

"Not at all," he assures her, "My brother is fine now but I will never forget his expression when he stood on the edge of a cliff, just like you did then. It was the scariest experience of my life. I don't want anyone else to have to go through it but I find that the second time stopping someone from jumping is easier."

She shudders when she thinks about what Charlie must've done to stop his brother from jumping. She knew that he probably would've used any means possible. She thinks about how she wouldn't be here right now if Charlie hadn't been there, she thinks about how she had so much left to give. She had come too far to see the end now. She couldn't just end her life; she had Charlie to thank for that.

"Thank you," she says. Uttering the words sound wrong and she wants to take them back the moment they leave her lips. She should be angry, sad, frustrated that Charlie had stolen away her chance to escape, but she can't help what she feels, and she feels grateful to him for saving her.

Charlie smiles, "What's your name?"

"Katie," she replies, "Katie Bell."

"That's a beautiful name," Charlie says with a grin, "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

Katie can feel herself blush, even though she is shivering, the world seems completely warm, hot even as the blush makes its way all over her body and she feels like she hasn't been this happy in months. She mumbles a thank you but it gets lost in the howling wind. The storm seems to have kicked it up a notch and Katie begins to get scared as the trees start to bend and the rain whips at her face.

"Well then, Katie Bell, shall we go inside? I don't know about you but I'm completely soaked and this rain isn't the most comfortable thing to have pounding on your head."

Katie doesn't respond, she just lets Charlie take her hand and guide her away from the lookout and towards the pavement where he takes his wand out and quickly mutters some charms and Katie feels herself dry off immediately and as they begin to walk again, it is as if the rain is bouncing off her. _Impurvius Charm_ she thinks as the same happened to Charlie as well. In a way, she's grateful because it means that she doesn't have to spend hours drip-drying when she gets home.

"This is me," she says after they walk in silence for a good ten minutes. She turns to Charlie and feels her face break into a smile, the first smile that she has smiled in months, "Thank you, Charlie," she says, hoping that Charlie doesn't find it too weird that she knows his name without him telling her first.

"You're welcome," he responds.

She doesn't turn to go inside and he doesn't walk away. They simply stare at each other for a while, each observing the other's movements and features. Both of them wanting to speak, but knowing that there was nothing left to say. Eventually, Katie gives in and walks up to her front door, she opens it, walks inside and as soon as she reaches her bed, she lies down on it without taking off her clothes and immediately falls asleep. She has no fear anymore, they have all been faced. And for the first time in months, the shadows on Katie's wall lay their heads down and fall asleep alongside her.

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_(PART TWO: Rocks)_

Katie wakes to a tapping on her window.

Her immediate thought is that someone is sending her a letter, but she has no owl, and nobody to owl her. Her eyes fly open as there is another tap at her window. She looks up at it curiously as there is nothing outside, no owl come to deliver a message, no nothing. She runs a hand through her hair and wonders if it might've been part of her dream. There is another tap and she looks up to see a small pebble hit her window and fall back down.

Rushing over to the window, she opens it. The rain from the morning has subsided and snow has taken its place. Katie loves snow, she always has. She leans out of her window and catches a flake on her palm. It settles there for a minute before dissolving into water.

"Hi there, Katie,"

She almost falls out of the window when she hears Charlie's voice from down below her.

"Charlie," she says as she regains her balance, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm throwing rocks at your window," Charlie says, making a note of what is already obvious.

"Why?" Katie inquires quizzically.

"Because I want your attention," Charlie says with a grin. Katie feels herself smile again, a concept that has become more foreign to her.

"Well," she says, "You've got it."

"Good," Charlie says, "Because I'm freezing my arse off here and I could really do with a nice warm tea."

Katie sighs and shakes her head. She pulls in from the window and shuts it before running downstairs to the door, where she knows that Charlie is waiting. She remembers that just hours ago, she had been standing atop a cliff, ready to jump and now she was here, seeing another day, another night, living out the rest of her life as she was meant to live it, and it was all thanks to Charlie. The least she could do was give him a cup of tea.

No sooner had she opened the door, than Charlie was across the threshold already shaking the snow from his hair and kicking off his boots to show ragged, patched socks.

"You took your time," he says with a cheeky grin. Katie can't think of anything to say, so she just smiles at him before walking towards the kitchen. He follows without complaint.

"So, Katie," he says, when she has put on the kettle and is rummaging around in the cupboard for biscuits, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Katie feels her heart start to beat faster; she didn't want to talk about it, not at all. She had started to put it behind her and she didn't want to pull it in front again. But this is Charlie, the same Charlie that had saved her life earlier today. It seems like a lifetime ago to Katie but really, it was only twelve hours.

"What is there to talk about?" she asks softly.

"Why do you feel like killing yourself?" Charlie asks the question straight up. There is no dodging around it and no procrastinating until they get to it, he asks her and she is so shocked, that she responds instantly.

"There's nothing left for me here," she replies quickly.

"Sure there is," Charlie says and Katie smiles bitterly, he doesn't understand how she feels; most of his family are still alive and well.

"Like what?" she asks, her tone turned sour.

"Like your future," he says, "Think about what your soul mate will do with his life if he never finds you? Children may never be born, jobs may never be worked, conversations that will never be spoken. There is a lot left in this world for you, Katie. It just might be stuff that you don't know about yet."

Katie was silent. She knew that what he had said was true. She hadn't thought of it like that at all. But even now, when she did, she didn't want the future, she wants things that were here for her now. She wants her mum to comfort her, her dad to tell her that everything was going to be okay, her brothers to protect her and her niece to cuddle. She wants Alicia and Leanne to confide in when the going gets tough. She just wants her old life back, before Voldemort, before the war that had ruined so many lives.

"But there's nothing here for me now," she voices timidly.

Charlie reaches across the table and takes her hand in his, "I'm here for you now," he says with a smile. And Katie knows from his expression that it's true. She knows because when he saved her from jumping earlier that day he created a bond with her, a bond that could never be broken, a bond of friendship for life and there was nothing that Katie could do about it. She didn't want to do anything about it either. It was nice to have a friend in this world again. She had known of Charlie for most of her life but had only talked to him just over twelve hours ago. She feels as if she has known him for years, but really she's only known him for twelve hours. He gives off that friendship vibe and Katie knows that she can trust him, that he is her friend.

The kettle whistles and both of them jump. Katie pulls her hand away from Charlies and it breaks the small staring contest the two of them had been having. She pulls out her two favourite mugs, one blue and one red and starts to pour the tea into them.

"Blue or red?" she asks Charlie, knowing that it's a childish question.

"Red," he says, "Milk, one sugar."

She nods and completes the request.

"Come on," she says when both of them are sat at the kitchen bench blowing on their tea, "Let's go and sit in the lounge room."

Charlie doesn't object and follows her two rooms down where they sit on the couch facing the window.

The outside lights were on and it was snowing. It looked like magic; like they were somewhere else, like they were someplace better.

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**AN: I hope you liked it Kelly!**

**In addition to writing this for Kelly, I have also written it for.**

**The Imagine Dragons Inspiration competition with the song **_**Nothing Left to Say/Rocks**_**. **

**The Perks of Being A Wallflower quote competition**

**The Pairing Diversity BootCamp Challenge prompt #10: Serendipity.**

**I also have three spots left in my year of gifting, so if people want me to write them a fic at some point this year, then all you have to do is PM me with your favourite pairings. **

**DFTBA,  
Best Wishes**

**~The Original Horcrux~**


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